hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
