The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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