11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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