i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
