So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
