So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
ok first of all what the fuck
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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