I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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