we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
