Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
