We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
