I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Panties = found
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
