between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You have to summon your inner elephant
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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