apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
