I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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