I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
