dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize