it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
