My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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