that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
