in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
