We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
