Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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