Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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