No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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