i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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