love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
