So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
