If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
