I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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