I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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