She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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