it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
