I can tuck mytits in my pants
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
