how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
