don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
