that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
