dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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