i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
