what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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