soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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