Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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