We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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