Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Let's get the cat blown out
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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