alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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