I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
