today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
