I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
