I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
well you can't waste a boner
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
