I'm lost and stupid without you.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
