Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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