Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
