I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
