Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
