he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
