maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't deserve a penis
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
