I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
