we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
