and you said cock pushups were impossible
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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