brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
