Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
