Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
