well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
